Substance.














Going off to Laguna at about 7 pm. Not looking forward to it, not dreading it. Mission of this trip is to forget everything for about 24 hours so when I return I can re-evaluate what the hell is going on with me. I am hoping for no slowburn of introspection, but rather shaking off the rust and just go, go, go.

I went down last night to visit some friends who were leaving for an evening of debauchery. I told them I couldn't go and I thanked them for inviting me. The elevator going down arrived, which was theirs. I sent them off, waving and wishing them a nice evening. My elevator, going up, finally arrived. I slumped in there groggy, tired, my eyes closed. I looked up at the reflection of the mirror in front of me and saw them all looking at my reflection. The elevator doors eventually closed.

Laguna will be fine. It's a whole lot more isolated than the big, bad, smoky city. It's going to be with people I haven't seen enough of. I can't expect anything out of this except for a diversion. I'm lowering expectations and no one can right a ship through a weekend fucking around, but maybe a vacation is what I need. I just need, for the remaining two weeks, to focus at the task at hand and survive.